As children we are asked time and time again in school, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Our answers start out the same, "a Fire-fighter, a Princess", but as the years pass by and we continue to get asked that same question our answers start to grow up, a Doctor or a Teacher! Then we get to college and this time we are not asked what we want to be when we grown up but are forced to pick a subject we want our degree's in that will eventually turn into our answer to that never ending question. The next time we get asked its not, "What do you want to be when you grow up" but instead as we are graduating college the question is "what are your plans now?" Did any of us ever answer, I want to sit in an office 5 days a week doing marketing and business development? I know I sure as hell didn't. This past week I realised something. I am about to turn 30. I don't get asked the question of what I want to be when I grow up because as hard as it is to face I am grown up. What I want to know is, how in the world did that happen? Is my life what I thought it would be at 30? I've tried to think back to the life I always imagined for myself, from what I remembered it was glamorous. I had a great job where I got dressed up to go to work every day, I was in shape, I had a husband, a pretty ring, a family. There was no stress, no pain, no worries. Why didn't anyone warn me? I never thought the job was stressful with long hours and office politics. Or that to be in shape I had to work out every day and watch the food I ate. Or that my marriage wouldn't be the fairy tale I saw in the movie's but actual work? I've realised that the life we built for ourselves isn't exactly the life we always imagined but that's okay. Just because I am turning 30 doesn't mean I have to have it all figured out. I can still change my mind about what I want to be when I grow up and the reality is I still might. I don't know if this is what I want to do forever, and you know what that’s okay. 30 is scary to me but it doesn’t have to be. I still have all the time in the world (hopefully) and need to be proud of what I have accomplished thus far, not be hard on myself because I haven't done all the things I thought I would. I am living in a foreign country, building a life, I have an amazing husband who loves me unconditionally and support me and all my crazy antic, and I have a cat who I adore more than anything who serves as our stand in child for now. :) We are our own little family and we should be proud of that.
My new philosophy….30…just a number.
2 comments:
In Cambodia they don't have birthdays, and they don't even know how old they are - life just rolls one. At first I was horrified at the thought of 0 birthday parties in one's life, but now I can see that it's kind of stress-less to not keep track. You guys are great!!
i was going to suggest letting 30 be your husband's waist size, but if you keep extrapolating, that won't work so well when he turns 60! :)
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