Memories...

Yesterday marked a very sad day in our lives, the anniversary of sweet Isaac's death. The anniversary is something that is always looming in the distance, I personally associate it with the Super Bowl, as 2 years ago the accident happened on that very day. In days leading up I wasn't really sure how I would feel or what I wanted to do to commemorate Isaac but figured once the day arrived I would figure it out. The day arrived like any other and as I woke up I realized I didn't feel any different than any other day. I arrived at work and as I logged onto my email a rush of memories came back to me and as much as I wish I could say it was the happy ones I have every other day it was actually the bad ones. Memories of the pain, the fear, the numbness I felt two years ago. I was lucky enough to have Aaron meet me for lunch (this doesn't happen very often) and over lunch we talked about how we felt and if we wanted to do anything special later that evening. The final decision was that we would treat it as any other day. The day wasn't an easy one but it wasn't until I was in bed later that evening that a realization came to me. Aaron was in his office working and I asked him to come and pray with me. The tears came rushing back to me, this time I couldn't stop them. When I had finally calmed down I realized what it was. The anniversary of Isaac's death doesn't allow me to remember the beautiful moments but instead my mind focuses on the pain. The pain that every other day gets shut out. On this day I feel the pain for every single one of my family members, the fear we all felt boarding that flight to Denver and even more so the pain of saying Good Bye. Each of us handles this day very differently and for some of us it allows us to remember the happy times and how blessed we were to have Isaac, even if it was for a short time. I don't think this anniversary will ever get easier but I think now moving forward I can know what to expect, I will know that for me its the day I had to say goodbye to the little prince...I love you Isaac.